F1
by Lychenne Laki
Summary: Sasori drives a Dodge Charger, Deidara is the cover girl/boy for a driving mag. What happens now the Akatsuki are street racers in Konoha City? Read if you loved Tokyo Drift and need for speed underground. Rating may go up to M later because of lovin' :
1. Chapter 1

The light reflected in the puddles, creating another world, upside down beneath his feet. He stared at it for a second, losing himself to his thoughts as he gazed into the murky depths, his long blonde hair whipped up in the faint night breeze and wafted with it the smells of the city. He always thought the air smelled different at night, as if the stars themselves added their own spectral scent to the world, but no one else even cared. Pretty soon his nose would be filled with exhaust fumes and thick smoke again. He took one last breath, then turned and headed inside. Him and his best friend had a lot to prepare for. Tonight was a race night.

The time by his watch was 10:15, in the distance engines roared and women cheered in excitement. Lights bore down from makeshift posts and split the petrol-covered tarmac into a myriad of different colours. The crowd jumped to the beats pumping from expensive sports cars dotted amongst the crowd, and men lazed on their bonnets proud to show off their latest win. Pretty women stalked about in barely-there skirts, or hung on the arms of men in expensive designer gear. Deidara raised his head and looked out at the crowd, from his position on the wall he could see Sasori's car, and the familiar red head sitting in the driver's seat with the door open. The car was beautiful, a true work of art, so much so that Sasori would not let Deidara drive it for fear he may crash it on purpose. That split second before the crash when the framework of the chasse would be whole for the last time in its life – that was art, thought the blonde.

Sasori worked long and hard on that car, every beautiful red fleck of paint, and every tiny detail of the engine. He owned a garage and was renowned as the best mechanic the city had ever known. Brilliant white underglow reflected off the wet road, the neon beams pulsed to the music blaring out of the back –attracting yet more people. Deidara was glad for his Danna, but wished those people would give him some space. Still, no rest for the wicked. He nodded to himself, got up and pushed into the crowd. It was time to work.

As soon as the harsh lights touched his face, the cameras were on him again. He was THE face of street racing in Konoha City - everybody knew him, every woman wanted him. More than ever, Deidara was the key to fame, and he didn't even race.

"Dei-chan! Over here!" a familiar voice called out to him and he greeted his danna warmly with a peck on the cheek.

"Nice night un!" he commented, and leaned seductively on his door, Sasori smiled back slyly

"Get to work, blondie! Up on the bonnet now!" he laughed and gave Deidara a push. The two worked in complete unison, Deidara helped out in the garage for cash during the day, and Sasori let him use his cars. Not for driving of course...

He always started off the nights with his favourite car – the old yet sleek Dodge Charger belonging to Sasori. Its curves seemed to match his own as he posed dramatically on the hood while photographers went wild around him. One shake of that blonde head and a car could be sold for thousands, or taken to the nearest dumpyard. Deidara loved his life, and, after a few flashy shots went in search of that little green Mazda that had so caught his beady eye last time...

Kisame grinned from inside his electric blue car. The windows were tinted the colour of the deepest oceans and not a ray of light peeked through. It was a second hand Honda NSX which cost more to modify than it did to buy. The three girls in the back obviously appreciated its expensive vinyl's, white leather seats and tinted lights. Kisame turned and winked at them in turn, and they smiled coyly back. He was a playa and he knew it. He twirled the heavy chain around his neck, taking pleasure in remembering it was solid gold, a present for himself a few years back.

He leaned forward on the dashboard and grinned at the guy that had just rolled into the parking lot – his arch rival Itachi. Girls scooted out of the way as he revved it up and skidded into a spot parallel to Kisame. He was a mean driver, ruthless behind the wheel and damn near unbeatable, plus the car he was driving was pretty good too.

The blue haired man watched him swing out of his car with well practised grace. His ripped jeans and leather jacket gave him a bad boy image to match his jet black ride. "Its a Kitano Touge" he heard him say as he slouched on the bonnet, bigging it up.

His race success was due to his amazing eyesight, or that's what everyone said. Itachi was the quiet type who never let on his secrets, he was a mystery to most and hadn't let even Deidara pose with his car! The crowd engulfed him and Kisame was lost to his thoughts, pondering the arrival of the team that made it all possible.

The clock struck 10:30. Only half and hour left till the race. A giant green Lincoln Navigator screamed though the red lights of 3rd district and headed away from the river at breakneck speed. Inside, through the wires and electrical equipment two men were hurriedly fixing cameras onto tripods. Zetsu and Tobi were the tech guys that filmed every race, every wreck and every win. Hand held camcorders as well as professional style cameras were set up along the race course which was planned in advance. As the race took place, every detail would be filmed, edited then sold on the black market. They had to be at the start line at 11 to film the start, it was going to be a close one.

"Zetsu san! Watch out!" Tobi squealed as they ran through a level crossing

"Don't be a backseat driver!" Zetsu yelled back and his long green hair fell in his face as he slammed on the breaks. They lurched into the parking lot, relieved to see the two biggest names were not here just yet. Tobi was running round hi-fiving the drivers, at 16 this was all one big high for him.

"How u doin' Tony nice ride, fixed it up I see!" he said excitedly to his biker mate with the beard, they chattered for a while in hyperactive bliss.

Suddenly an elaborate horn blasted through the noise and an elegant yellow BMW M5 cruised round the corner. Even if no one had seen the driver, they knew the car from various wanted posters up around the city. Intricate spiral vinyl's decorated the sides and roof, creating a hypnotising pattern, no music followed this car – it travelled in silence, even the engine was a quiet drone. The car radiated power and money. Costing nearly £60,000 it was a car for only the very rich. The door opened slowly and a scantily clad, blue haired woman got out. She raised a megaphone to her lips and addressed the swelling crowd,

"15 minutes till the race, competitors get to the start line" She leaned against the glass windows as her partner got out. Orange hair blew in the breeze and Pein looked over the heat haze at her. He was the organizer of these events. The centre of the web. Everyone answered to him; he knew people and could get anything he desired. Though even he had to visit Sasori's garage every now and then.

5 minutes to the race. Four cars lined the street. Sasori in his red Dodge Charger, Kisame in a blue Honda NSX, Itachi sitting smug in his midnight black Kitano Touge and Pein glaring through the windscreen of the shiny yellow BMW. Konan stood in the middle of the road with a flare gun, she'd fire it to start the race. Zetsu and Tobi sat atop the green monster truck with cameras set to automatic and both were tense with anticipation. People lined both sides of the street, waving and shouting and ...betting.

Kakuzu was at his happiest when taking bets. He was the centre of attention with money being thrown at him from every direction. The car he drove here was parked nearby, but he never raced it himself, collecting bets was more fun and more important. He left the whole driving thing to his friend/enemy roommate Hidan.

Hidan had painted the car to match himself, he was _that_ vain. It was dazzling silver with purple underglow and violet tinted lights. Even the brake lights were painted purple to match the windscreen wipers which matched the buttons on the sound system in the boot. He sat grinning crookedly as Kakuzu made more money than sense. He could afford a whole fleet of cars if he wished, he could afford a giant house on the West Side instead of the miserable basement flat they'd had since college. Hidan sighed. Kakuzu was a rich cheapskate, but at least he let him drive.

He put the car into gear and revved it up a little, shooting forwards to the start line between Kisame and Itachi. He could feel the tension between the racers as a sour taste in his mouth, though when they saw the familiar silver Nissan Skyline cruise up they relaxed. Everyone knew Hidan was the worst driver this side of Suna. Even men that had never seen a car could drive better than him, he always crashed and every car he drove got written off. Yet still he lived. He'd crashed more times than he'd finished races, he'd broken bones and spilt blood on tarmac but still he raced. Zetsu and Tobi sold lots of footage of him and his death defying barrel rolls over walls, the many explosions he'd been caught running away from and the time he _actually got_ _set on fire_.

Lots of people thought that Kakuzu leant him his car just because he enjoyed seeing him crash and burn. Perhaps he told him that he was good at driving, or that it wasn't the winning but the taking part. That may be the case but Hidan had never been to hospital - Kakuzu always made sure he was allright. Going to hospital would raise too many questions since street racing was illegal in this part of the world. The last thing they wanted was to bring the whole organization down. The truth was, Hidan just loved to drive.

The engines fired into action.

The clock hit 11

Konan held the flare gun aloft, fired once, and a red beam of light shot into the air. The cars jerked forwards narrowly missing her skinny form and filling the air with dust and fumes.

The race began...

Hidan immediately took the lead, the power of the Skyline running away with him. He held it briefly before being over taken by Pein and Itachi, one on either side, both had NOS. The blue flames flared out of their exhaust pipes as they sped off ahead. Sasori was coming up on his left, trying to pit manoeuvre him off the road. It was important to steer clear of his wheels – his whole car was rigged with hidden traps to cheat with. Hidan began to swerve erratically; he was nearing 130 kmh and was losing control already. Up in front Pein was taking the lead, pushing 160kmh and smoothly cutting in front of the Uchiha. Kisame lagged behind, he couldn't be bothered to get his car torn up overtaking Sasori and he was low on Nos, Hidan would crash out soon anyway and that would at least spare him last place.

Sure enough, 5 minutes into the race as they swung round a bend in the road, Hidan got the drift wrong. Kisame reached for the hand break, pulled it and changed down gears to up the revs, at the same time he floored the pedal and slammed the wheel round – creating the perfect drift. He skidded neatly avoiding Hidan who'd overdone the breaking. The car skipped onto its roof, achieving an astounding pirouette mid-flight and smashing down into the barriers. The windows were blown out and tires hung limply off the wheels. Another write off. An unfortunate lamppost was wrapped around the passenger door, shards of metal were speared though the backs of the seats inside though Kisame had no doubt that the little bastard was still alive.

Only half the race remained, and there was no sign of cops, so far so good. Sasori gunned the Dodge down the straight, becoming a red blur in the inky black darkness. Up ahead Pein and Itachi fought for the lead, the roar of the crowd was growing in the distance as they rapidly approached the finish line. Yellow and black paint scraped together and sparks flew as the cars slammed together. Itachi was a cruel driver, in it only to win, and with one last burst of Nos he crossed the line just ahead of Pein, who fumed with anger.

Kisame and Sasori battled for 3rd place on the last corner, drifting in unison. Tobi was there with his camera, filming the last stages of the race, Sasori made a split second decision and detonated his spike strip- sabotaging Kisame metres before the end. His tires flapped uselessly as all the air rushed from them and he cursed as he swept over the line just a few seconds too late. Tobi cheered at the amazing recording and immediately got in radio contact with those back at the start.

"hey this is Tobi" he squealed into the static, "Hidan didn't make it...again. See you guys tomorrow huh?"

"Tobi?" Zetsu's voice rasped through the bad connection, "Party...meet at...warehouse tonight"

"Great see you there" he yelled back but the line had died.

Grabbing his equipment he hitched a lift with the nearest driver, crammed in the backseat with a load of women he didn't know Tobi felt like the luckiest 16 year old in the world.

Out on the deserted road, Kakuzu cruised in a borrowed car. This was the second time this month he'd had to waste his time for that stupid roommate of his. He followed the smoke and smell of burning to the sweeping bend in the road. Prime drifting ground – but it seemed Hidan didn't manage it. The beautiful Nissan Skyline lay ruined on its roof, the chrome grill was ruined by the smoke and scratches lined both sides. Kakuzu sighed. This was going to **cost.**

**"**Hidan?" he called tentatively, opening the door and stepping out into the clear night. A low croak came from within the broken vehicle and he crouched down to peer into the dark interior. The drivers door had been wrenched off by the force of the crash and Hidan lay sprawled inside, half upside down. Blood dripped from the wheel and the passenger chair was pinning him down. A crimson patch was spreading across his ruined shirt, but Kakuzu stayed calm, this had all happened before.

"ahhh..." the platinum haired man sighed as he was eventually pulled free of the wreckage

"Come on we have a party to go to!" grumbled Kakuzu impatiently and laid Hidan over the backseats of the borrowed Honda Civic.

"Sorry...about your car, mate" he breathed and stretched out.

Kakuzu glared at him from the drivers seat, knocked the car into gear and shot off into the night. He navigated through the city, down into the industrial district where everything was quiet and dead in the still of night. He was careful they were not followed, and after circling the block a few times to make sure they were alone, he pulled up outside a small warehouse. Faint music could be heard from the inside – the party in full swing...

Hidan collapsed on one of the soft sofas in the backroom. The room was small and dim with dark walls and a dirty floor, but it was reasonably quiet in here, plus there was a sink where he could wash off the blood. God he hated wrecking Kakuzu's cars all the time, but he just couldn't make them drive! The older man didn't seem to mind that much -it was fun after all. Gingerly he pulled off his bloodstained shirt and used it to wipe the sweat out of his eyes. He kicked his well worn trainers across the room and lay back, feet over the armrest. A wound throbbed on his chest, also from the crash. It bled freely and would need stitches. He pressed his rolled up shirt over it, to soak up the blood and groaned at the fresh pain that rippled though him. Kakuzu wouldn't be back for a few minutes would he?

Hidan threw the reddening shirt across the room and traced a pale finger around the edge of the wound, making himself shiver. He closed his eyes and pushed away the feeling of guilt that threatened to ruin the moment. Letting out a deep sigh he let his cool index finger explore the raw red laceration just above his ribs. Sweat erupted along his brow and before he knew it one finger became two, he never even heard the door swing back open, never heard his own mutterings of delight or Kakuzu's exclamation of disgust.

He snapped back to reality, however, when the other man laid a strong hand across his throat.

"Stop that _right now_, idiot. Do you want to make it worse?" Kakuzu growled, waving a needle and thread for stitches.

Hidan's eyes flicked open in horror, he never planned for Kakuzu to witness this! "I...I never" he stuttered, glancing guiltily at his bloody fingers, then laying back again with the pressure on his throat.

"Oh god" he muttered, his eyes rolled back into his head and a blush rose on his cheeks. Kakuzu was touching his neck! Man, he had to know...didn't he know? He grimaced slightly as he felt his pants grow tight, and all the strength left his body to be replaced by heat.

"Hidan! What the fuck!" Kakuzu yelled when he felt something press up against his body. He let go of Hidan like he was red hot and backed off. The dude on the couch grabbed a pillow to try and cover the evidence but it was too late,

"I wasn't...I...er" he stammered in embarrassment.

"...Ok then" Kakuzu said slightly unsure, then turned and left him laying there. God what was that all about he wondered to himself as he walked through the smoke and noise of the party to find a decent seat away from the dancers. He realized he'd picked a spot furthest away from anyone else, a place to be alone with his thoughts...and his thoughts were private.

The metal staircase creaked ominously as people flocked up and down from the balcony. Deidara leaned casually on the railings overlooking the crowded dance floor and makeshift tables. The warehouse was made of corrugated metal for the most part, abandoned then recycled as a rave hall. The upper level was supported on stone pillars, and underneath it lovers curled on beat up sofas and drank wine from boxes. He knew if he looked he would see Kisame lounging in the midst of a crowd of beautiful girls, there was just something about him that attracted them in droves.

The whole den was full of smoke and black engine grease, but it was somewhere they could relax and be free. That's what it was all about – freedom. Deidara's eyes glazed over as he thought, and listened to the throb of music pulsing from a brilliant white Mitsubishi Evo parked to the back of the hall. The hood was up and men were peeing in at the engine, the music was coming from an expensive sound system in the trunk, so loud that it served as a dj's desk and fuelled the party.

He scanned the jumping mass of heads and waving hands in the semi darkness for Sasori, he hadn't won the race but that didn't matter here – he was a street racer and that was all that counted. A side door slammed open and Kakuzu strode out, he looked troubled. Deidara nodded to him as he climbed the stairs and slouched exhausted in a leather chair near the back. He didn't seem to want to socialize with the others so Deidara went in search of a better dancing partner.

Stopping at the bar to get a drink or two, he spied his redhead hiding in the shadows cradling a glass of sake. Sasori sauntered over like he owned the place and pressed an unsteady hand on the inside of Deidara's leg. His breath smelled of alcohol but the blonde knew his limit was more than a few glasses of cheap sake. They met each others eyes and headed immediately to the centre of the room. Dancers crowded them from all sides – pushing them even closer and the heat and noise was intoxicating. Glowing lights hung on crude chains from the lofty ceiling but gave little light to the intimacy of the two now gripping each other tightly.

Sasori linked his hands round his taller friends back and threw his head back to shake his hair out of his eyes. Deidara's thumbs hooked in the waistband of the other man's jeans and his fingers curved delicately into his back pockets. Here, in this place they were spared the degrading glances of the outside world who could not accept them. Here no one was an outsider and he and Sasori could dance all night long...together. Deidara dipped his handsome face and their lips met softly, Sasori's mouth was already open to accept him and his tongue flicked the top of his mouth lightly.

"Enough teasing" the shorter man growled, and ran his fingers through Deidara's mesh shirt and down his sides. He sighed and leaned in closer. They swayed together for almost an instant until Deidara got bored and changed the tone. Grabbing Sasori by his back and swinging him around for a fairy tale kiss he began their favourite blend of dirty dancing followed by even dirtier dancing. Sasori didn't look like he'd be nimble or quick on his toes in the way of a dancer, but Deidara had all the moves of a professional. From the balcony, Konan watched in appreciation as the blonde swung his boyfriend from left to right with a hand on his back and their hips locked together.

The thin white door banged open a second time and Pein strode through. The whole room raised their voices in an eardrum-bursting cheer and he posed slightly, appreciating the attention despite not winning the race. He raised the bottle in his hand,

"PARTY ON!" he yelled and stomped up the stairs to the balcony where Konan was waiting.

"Hia honey" she smiled sweetly and placed a kiss on his pierced lips, he handed her a drink and they stared out at the crowd. Pein stiffened as he saw Itachi with his new car standing at the back. His was the sleek white Mitsubishi – the prize they were racing for. Noticing he was being watched Itachi raised the keys and dangled them tantalizingly, making Pein angry and jealous. Tension was building and it seemed likely there would be a fight later.

"Where's Tobi and Zetsu?" she asked to change the subject, "I hear they got some good footage tonight"

"They're out the back sorting it out" Pein said briefly, "they never liked parties much anyway"

The small group had known each other for years, and though they seemed to be rivals they were in fact a strong team. If the cops came calling, they covered each others tracks and watched each others backs, it was a way of life more than just a job. Pein and Konan fell into silence and the white door on the side crashed open for the third time that night.

"Check this out guys" Tobi screamed in pride, waving a dvd over his head. "Tonight's race re-mastered! We're gonna be rich!"

Zetsu just grinned and winked at Kakuzu who'd got up for a better look. He liked money and could always find use for more, after all he had a new car to pay for now. He too scanned the hall looking for his roommate, Hidan but couldn't catch sight of his silver hair or vivid purple eyes.

Konan was suddenly struck by an idea.

"Pein, why don't we all go out drifting, you know along the mountain road..." she whispered into his ear. The corners were wide and the views were amazing, it was an easy drive – one even Hidan could manage. The ride would be relaxing after all the stress of the day, and the race always ended at the parking lot with the views across the lake...

"Sure." he agreed. "I'll drive"


	2. Chapter 2

**Woo! Welcome to the second chapter. Many thanks to my brother for all the info on cars, wouldn't have been possible without him!**** Anyway, enjoy...**

Itachi slammed the door of his new ride, hopping into the driver's seat and revving the car to the max before shooting out of the door. He knew a chance when he saw it – how else had he got this far up the ladder of drift fame? Creeping in first gear out of the giant barn doors and round the side of the warehouse he squinted out into the darkness like an animal hunting its prey. His headlights were on beam and it wasn't long before he saw the familiar outline of a man, hunched on the floor, hand over his heart. He wound down the passenger window and called out,

"Hidan! Ride with me"

He looked up from his seat on the cold concrete, pure surprise glittering out of his eyes,

"Itachi-san?" he asked as he took in the details of the beautiful new car. Why was Itachi approaching him? They'd never even spoken before. The cars engine died and the exhaust fumes dispersed into the cool night-time air. Itachi rose from his seat behind the wheel and moved slowly round the car to Hidan, trailing his hand along the bonnet as he walked. What on earth is with this dude? He thought.

"You drove well tonight" he began and the look of confusion on Hidan's face deepened,

"Itachi – I"

The silver haired man suddenly noticed a look in Itachi's eyes he hadn't seen there before, it was a luminescent glimmer, something new. Restless energy stirred within those eyes and Hidan rose warily to his feet. Itachi stepped again, closing the distance between them in one stride and he felt his back press up against the wall, his open wound was stretching painfully and he felt awfully exposed here. Why on earth should he be afraid?

"You don't have a car now do you?" Itachi questioned with a sly look

"Erm no, it was Kakuzu's anyway" he muttered ashamed, but noted the expression of hate that crossed the other man's features at the mention of Kakuzu's name. Alarm bells should have started ringing then, but Hidan was lightheaded after the crash and the brief encounter inside that, in truth, he'd rather _not _forget about...

The cold corrugated metal was digging into his back, he realised he was shying away from the taller man standing right in front of him, and annoyance welled up inside until he could contain it no more.

"Get the fuck out of my face" he growled and his hands balled into fists

"No" Itachi replied in a low whisper, and his knuckles clashed against the wall either side of Hidan's head. He leaned in further. Their faces were inches apart now, but instead of closing his eyes and accepting his fate Hidan resisted with all his strength.

"What do you think I _like you_?" he spat, "you delude yourself!" he grabbed Itachi's slim wrists and attempted to push the man off him, but Itachi would not budge

"I don't care what you feel for me, no one can feel anything for a man with no emotions..."

"Piss off you queer!" Hidan insulted him and tried to knee him where it hurt, but before he could inflict any damage of any kind, Itachi had pushed his leg down and was roughly grappling with his flies.

"Don't tell me you don't swing this way, I've seen the way you and 'Kuzu' look at each other. You're only fooling yourself, now hold still. This won't take a second"

"No...Itachi! Please don't" Hidan screamed as he was pushed to his knees in the filthy puddles. The other man's cruel fingers tangled in his hair – keeping him down and tilting his face up to meet him.

"Open wide" he commanded, though there was no real need. When Tobi joked that guys with big cars were compensating for something – he was close to the truth. Hidan would have sniggered if he were not in such a terrible situation.

"I said open wide!" Itachi grew frustrated and slapped him viciously in the face with his free hand. Hidan yelled in pain and shock and in that brief moment when his moth was open, Itachi seized his chance.

Hidan choked in disgust and shame as Itachi forced himself upon him. Tears rolled unchecked down his pretty face as the Uchiha gasped and cried out above him. His vision blurred as the salty guilt clouded his eyes, but still it did not stop. The pain of his hair being ripped out wasn't a patch on the pain of betrayal closing around his heart. He should have known.

Footsteps approached from around the side, drawn to the sound of muffled sobbing but neither one of them heard. Sasori sped round the corner in a flat out run and stopped dead when he saw what was going on. Itachi was clutching a tortured Hidan close to him, his eyes were closed and Hidan's were leaking salty tears. In a split second decision Sasori charged at the stricken Uchiha and rugby tackled him to the oil covered ground. People mistook him for a pushover because he was gay but Sasori could pack a mean punch, especially when his friends were in danger.

Aiming a powerful right hook at his face, Sasori vowed never to trust this man again. He could hear his friend dissolving into sobs behind him, and laid a fist into Itachi's nose. Blood gushed down over his face and stained his expensive clothes. His shirt was black from dirt now –to match the two black eyes staring up in disbelief from his pale face.

"Never speak to us again!" Sasori spat, "you are vermin, even your name says it!"

With a final Kick in the ribs, the redhead let him scramble to his feet and run. They listened to his heavy footfalls fade into the distance before either said a word. Words would have been almost inappropriate in the situation, so with an arm over his loyal friend's shoulder Hidan limped inside.

The road stretched into the blue distance. The moon hung like an orb in the sky. It was the perfect setting, the perfect night. The chill air brought a mysterious calm after the heat of the party, and the racers leaned into the drift like a tired man leans into sleep. Six cars swept effortlessly through the mountains, headlights brightening the hillside briefly before moving swiftly on. They kept an exact formation, a well practiced dance played out under the stars, and only the stars watched their progress down the meandering hills.

Sasori and Deidara shared the sleek Dodge and yet the redhead was feeling shaken. It seemed near impossible...but an old friend had betrayed him, him and Hidan. His hands clenched on the wheel and he looked in the rear view mirror. That bastard had dared to come on the drift with them, and to make matters worse he'd leant his old car to the man he'd just abused. The very idea was sick. However, he took some comfort in making sure Hidan was not alone – the poor guy was now riding with his best friend Kakuzu. Sasori allowed himself a wry smile – he was almost certain they were becoming more than just friends...but only time would tell.

With a rude bump he was brought back to the present with Deidara whining like a whore in the passenger seat.

"Dei-chan stop it! I'm trying to dr- oh..."

"hmm you like that, Danna? There's more where that came from..." Deidara whispered seductively, leaning in closer and letting his golden bangs tickle his boyfriend's neck.

It was getting harder and harder to steer with this distraction on his right, and colour rose in his cheeks as Deidara placed both hands on his gears and licked his lips,

"De-chan! Do you want us to end up in a ditch?" he gasped and risked a glance sideways, Deidara only grinned wider, showing off his perfect white teeth. Sasori longed just to quit the drive then and there and park up somewhere, but they were right in the middle of the convoy – stopping now would mean a record pile-up. He glared to his right again as Deidara's shirt disappeared onto the backseats, the blonde knelt on his chair, topless and smiling wildly. He put his hands behind his head and relaxed enjoying the ride, and the expression on his partners face.

"You just wait!" Sasori threatened.

Three cars behind them, Hidan struggled with Itachi's old car. It was more than he'd ever had to cope with and Kakuzu was getting on his nerves. He handled all the turns with apparent ease, but the silence between the two of them was an awkward one. Hidan hated driving with passengers, yet almost anyone would have been preferable to _hi__m. _What happened in the backroom with him didn't mean anything damnit! It was just...just. He shook his head and threw the car violently round the next bend.

"Hey careful!" Kakuzu complained as his dreadlocks swung and hit him in the face, "I don't want another crash tonight...even if you do" he added the last bit as a quiet murmur half hoping Hidan wouldn't hear. All he got in return was a steely glare,

"Shut up and let me drive" Hidan spat with malice and the tires squealed in protest as he navigated a tricky hairpin bend. Kakuzu's eyebrows rose, impressed for once.

"I never see you drift" he said

"That's because one – I can't hardly drive anyway and two- you're always so busy taking fucking bets man! You never even watch me drive your friggin car"

"Oh but I appreciate it all the same, If you do the driving I can do the drinking"

Hidan snorted. In his opinion Kakuzu lived his life all wrong, he drank too much and spent too little. But they'd reached a kind of hate-hate agreement. It worked.

"Hey Kuzu?"

"yeah"

"about the party..."

"I thought you weren't going to talk about that..." Kakuzu asked, confused

"yeah well" Hidan snapped back

"What then?"

"Oh never mind. Mind your own business ok!" he replied and blushed, glad that no one could see him in the dark. A lone light shone between the trees ahead, the mountain road was coming to its end and all that lay ahead was the lake. He imagined the silver moonlight reflecting off the night time ripples, the trees rustling in the faint breeze and the smell of pine. He'd driven this way plenty of times, but never hung around afterwards. Everybody knew post-race time was for lovers. Parked up below the mountain with the adrenaline of the drive pumping through their systems, even a small romantic spark could be re-kindled into a raging inferno.

Being the last in line, when the now second hand jet black Kitano Touge rounded the final bend in the road everybody else was either parking up or clearing out. Zetsu's lime green Lincoln Navigator was disappearing into the distance already, and Itachi's new Mitsubishi Evo wasn't far behind. Love wasn't their bag. Sasori's red Dodge was parked up and heat haze still hung over the engine, the windows were mercifully fogged up but Kakuzu shivered to think what was going on inside. Pein and Konan seemed to feel the same way, and had parked up not far from the waters edge. Kisame's blue Honda was parked centrally; the playa was showing off his latest girlfriend – one in a line of many. Hidan sighed and a slight look of loneliness crossed his face. He waited for Kakuzu to say something, what he expected him to say he didn't know. When nothing came he shrugged and reached for the gearstick – intending to get them home again rather than stay in this place any longer than necessary.

His hand fumbled for the dratted thing in the dark, but found his friends hand blocking him. Glancing sideways in confusion his mouth dropped in surprise.

"Kuzu...what?"

"About the club" he said decisively and met Hidan's eyes slowly. He nodded slightly,

"I-" Hidan began, but words failed him. Kakuzu was suddenly close and the car seemed very small. He closed his eyes as he felt his partner gently caress his neck. He drew in a sharp breath at the touch, which brought out certain reactions in his body he'd rather not be reminded of. Again the green eyed man let him go and backed off yet this time he didn't go far.

"get in the backseat" he commanded

"Wha?" Hidan could not make out the muffled words, Kakuzu always wore a mask over his lower face, who knew what he had to hide but the thing always fucked up his speech. Hidan had never seen him without it. He leaned forwards unconsciously and grazed his lips over where he imagined Kakuzu's to be. It felt slightly strange kissing through the fabric and the prospect of tongues was impossible. Hidan's fingers laced together behind his friends neck and pressed their mouths closer against one another. Two prominent bumps indicated where his lips were, and they moved softly against his as if speaking words he could not hear. He gripped the dark fabric in his hands – desperately wanting to tear it off, but fearing rejection if he tried. Kakuzu spoke.

"I said get in the backseat, uke" this time there was a smile in his eyes, a faint desire rising to the surface. Hidan glared for a minute, then his stubbornness dissolved.

Snug along the seats, he relaxed but didn't dare let his eyelids shut. He kept one purple eye fixed on Kakuzu who was staring at him with a mixture of surprise and respect.

"How long have you felt this way?" he asked quietly

"long enough" Hidan replied, "though I think I've had my fill of waiting..." he fell silent and waited, apprehensive and a little nervous.

He closed his eyes, imagining hands on his throat again, that feeling he needed it again more than he could describe. Yet he didn't have to imagine anymore, Kakuzu was there right in front of him, topless and displaying every one of his battle scars. One hand rested lightly across his collarbone- a promise of fulfilment yet to come, and as he squeezed the deliciously soft skin his other hand dropped slowly at first until it reached the rough material of Hidan's tracksuit pants.

A soft moan escaped his lips as the strong hand tightened on his neck, forcing air out and making his blood pump hotter and faster, Kakuzu's other hand explored deeper, fumbling past obstacles of zips and fabric. At last his hand closed around Hidan, whose eyes sprang wide open showing radical bliss shining amid the violet irises. The longer he gripped the soft flesh of the man's throat with his left hand, the harder Hidan became in his right hand. The position of control overwhelmed him, and he choked unexpectedly feeling his own arousal becoming clear.

"Hidan! Do me a favour would you" he begged of the man writhing under his hands.

"Any...anything...Ku –zu" he gasped

"My p-pants –" he stuttered, but his silver haired lover had already got the message. With a sharp tug the troublesome pants joined his shirt on the floor of Itachi's old car and left him almost bare. Kneeling over Hidan in nothing but a pair of black boxers he felt exposed but more than anything he finally understood what Deidara meant about freedom. He roughly broke the flies on Hidan's trousers and shifted them down along with his boxers in one swift motion, producing a hiss. Bracing himself on the headrest of the front seat and back he lowered his hips onto Hidan's allowing heat to pass from one to the other, then slowly shifting backwards and forwards as Hidan moved his hips up and down.

They gasped for air together and Hidan's knees bent and his legs spread wider – allowing greater access for the man above him. He gripped Kakuzu's waist roughly and guided himself closer, hands shifting only briefly to rip Kakuzu's boxers from him. He was overtaken by lust, its red mist fogged his brain and took control of his muscles and heart. He could only close his eyes as their lips crashed together time and time again and Kakuzu's hand dropped into his unstitched raw wound.

"KAKUZU!" he screamed into the night and panted as fingers pushed around the edges of broken skin. Heat was radiating from him in waves and his chest heaved as he fought for breath. He was bleeding again but it was worth any inconvenience, just for this feeling , this _pain_ to last for ever. A fresh scream broke through him as Kakuzu's nails explored the depths of the wound,

"S –slower!" he panted and the sluggish throbbing of his chest was matched with the intensely steady massaging of his groin. His hands wound in his lovers thick black hair, tugging and pulling as each wave of pleasure hit him.

"Happy now?" Kakuzu asked, and his voice was almost a growl – deepened by sated lust

"Thanks, Ku – Kakuzu..."

The windows were misted up, and the air in the car was hot and stuffy yet neither of them moved. Despite the discomfort they could stay like this forever. The stars in the heavens looked so good tonight, they looked out from under glass as the moon rose higher into the velvety blanket of night. The glare of headlights had long since been extinguished and all that remained was the presence of the other cars, or maybe they weren't there. How long had it been? Kakuzu had lost all sense of time, those violet eyes were a time warp.

He slipped on his pants and drove them home in the early morning. The air was chill against his shoulders and the apartment itself was cold as the grave. No lights shone, and he climbed into his bed with reluctance. Across the room Hidan tried to get warm under the old worn blankets, knowing sleep would not come. He lay perfectly still listening to the sound of Kakuzu's breathing, and idea formed in his mind, a fantasy he'd flirted with for months now. A grin lit up his face,

"Kakuzu? It's cold" he whined in his most annoying voice.

"..." was the non committal reply

Hidan tried again, determined not to be put off "...Kuzu? I'm_ cold_"

"Go on then" the older man sighed, "can't see as it makes any difference"

Hidan leapt out of his bed and skipped across the room, thanking Jashin Sama for finally giving him this. He snuggled down beside Kakuzu and buried his face in his hair. His hands slipped around his friends waist and gently they drifted into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sasori Danna! PUT ME DOWN!" Deidara was screaming his lungs out and thrashing his legs. In the highest apartment of the classiest block in the west side of town the pair were only just rising from bed.

"Shut up, Dei. I'd be surprised if you could even _walk_ after last night" Sasori laughed, carrying the blonde over his shoulder

"Whatever" he muttered and a red blush covered his face, clashing horribly with his hair. He sniggered as he remembered the events in Sasori's car. Last night had been heaven...

Sasori dumped him on the red plush loveseat and went to make breakfast. The red light on the answer machine was blinking.

"hey we got a message!" he said excitedly, "hope its another contract"

"Not that you need the money!" his lover called over the noise of sizzling bacon from the kitchen.

Deidara walked – or rather limped – across the room and listened to the recording. It was Kisame.

"hey guys, giving you the heads up about tonight. Technically illegal race at downtown Konoha, you know, the shopping district. Its quick in and quick out, tuner cars and pink slips only. Meet at uzumaki precinct 10 o clock sharp. Sasori you ought to be there."

"hear that?" the blonde asked

"Yeah" Sasori replied, entering the room carrying a tray full of food and wearing nothing but loose pyjama pants. Deidara raised his eyebrows eagerly and grinned. The redhead winked at him sarcastically and flopped down on the expensive leather sofa. He looked around the room and out of the floor to ceiling windows. Over in the distance he could see the glittering malls and multi storey car parks of Uzumaki Distict. At 10 he'd be racing there...maybe.

"What are you thinking?" Deidara asked and slipped an arm around his lovers waist, pulling himself in close.

"We should go" Sasori said decidedly. "It's dangerous but..."

"Danger turns you on babe" growled the blonde. "Let's not call him back...just yet"

"Dei-chan it's too early for-"

His words were cut off as his boyfriend pushed their plates away and rolled on top of him.

"I'll have_ you_ for breakfast instead" he announced, "you taste so much better..."

* * *

Kisame paced up and down his bedroom, hungry yet not liking the idea of eating. Blue light filtered through the large round windows that looked out onto water. As he turned around, a shark swam past flashing him a row of deadly teeth. His room was underwater, built into the aquarium his father owned. Everything in it was dark blue, sea green and beautiful. The reinforced circular windows gave him a view of the tanks. On one side, dolphins played peacefully, on the other sharks floated menacingly through the water all danger and teeth. Kisame liked to watch them, plus a room like this always wowed the ladies when they came to visit...

Something akin to this was plaguing his mind right now. In the next room no less than three pretty ladies were sharing his bed, exhausted after having yet another pillow fight in their underwear. Kisame didn't want to throw them out but they kind of made him nervous. He had no regrets after last night, but something was eating away at his thoughts, leaving doubts behind. Throughout the whole evening, it wasn't these ladies he'd been thinking of. It was...someone else. Someone it really shouldn't be.

"Crazy, you're going crazy!" he muttered smacking himself in the head. He glared at the phone, knowing there was one more call he had to make. But what if _he _answered the call? Kisame knew his voice would just freeze up. What had come over him? This was all a bit sudden. With shaking hands he picked up the receiver...

In the scummy darkness a loud ring echoed around the bare walls. The basement flat was cold and clammy, colder than the garage the cars were kept in. The phone rang again, rattling off the wall into an old pizza box, then ringing again louder.

"Curse it! Fucking heathen machine!" Hidan's yell of annoyance woke Kakuzu from his sleep. "Answer the Jashin-damned phone!" he shouted, though Kakuzu knew there was no hate directed at him through that outburst. Hidan just hated being disturbed while praying.

Kakuzu rolled sleepily from his bed and plodded to the phone – now covered in tomato sauce. "Hello?" he said tiredly and stifled a yawn, when no answer came he asked again. "Hello? Anyone there...talking now would be good"

The line went dead. With a shrug, thinking it was just the people selling windows again, Kakuzu checked the messages instead. Later that morning one came in from Kisame telling them about the race that night. That was all.

"Hidan, fancy a race tonight?" he asked, but all he got in return was a string of swear words his mother would be ashamed of. He chucked the phone down again to lie on the concrete floor and waited for Hidan to finish praying and listen to him. A race in Uzumaki district would be a lot of fun, though Kisame didn't seem to think so. His voice had sounded almost strangulated on the phone. Kakuzu wandered off, leaving the door unlocked. He knew his friend would be off to visit the tech guy Zetsu later though what for he had no idea. Sauntering into the garage he began to check the car over for any minor imperfections that would hinder its performance in the upcoming race. True, it used to be Itachi's but after a trip to the garage it would take on a whole new identity. Kakuzu smiled and jumped into the driver's seat, he'd see what Sasori could do with this baby!

The Rolex watch on Sasori's thin wrist showed 2 o'clock, he glanced out of the large door to his professional garage and watched a shiny black car turn up. For an instant he believed it to be someone else, but saw Kakuzu behind the wheel instead, straightening up from the engine he was working on he offered a wave.

"I need something a little different for tonight!" he called as he climbed out onto the forecourt, "can you fix her up?"

"Sure if it's for a friend" Sasori nodded and wiped the black grease from his hands onto his overalls. "Whatcha want doing? There's not much time"

Kakuzu sighed and thought of the money this would cost him, "anything you want, just make it look like mine. Not his."

Sasori knew by 'his' Kakuzu meant Itachi. After Sasori told him if that little occurrence at the party, the bookie had felt his friendship to Itachi dissolving. He hadn't won the car, but it was a good addition to his collection. Pimping it would sever any ties to the weasel man...or so he hoped.

"We'll start this together" Sasori stared at him levelly, knowing it meant a lot to personalize this car as soon as possible. Lifting the hood and taking a look inside, they planned the Kitano Touge's future.

Screaming tyres outside the basement flat awakened Hidan from his prayers, the horrible squealing noise carried right down into the cold stone room he was sitting in. He knew the sound of that engine thrumming up above, and he knew the driver all too well. Zetsu and him met up every now and then...when the need arised. Sure enough, after a car door slamming there were a series of heavy knocks on the frail door. Hidan wearily picked himself up off the ground, kissed his rosary once and went to see what the noisy bastard wanted this time. He could guess, and in his heart of hearts he already knew. It had been the same since secondary school with Zetsu. Uncontrollable rages and a store of anger so intense that counsellors didn't know where to send him. He'd bounced between care homes like a ping pong ball, and finally ended up falling in with the street racers in high school. Hidan had been there for him when his anger took over, and he was still there for him. So with a knowing look through the dirty glass he opened the door onto an expanse of grey. Grey rain slid grimly over grey concrete and even greyer buildings. Zetsu stood in the middle of it, with his green hair sticking wetly to his head. In the background his car engine hummed softly through the pattering rain – the colours of it matching superbly with the graffiti adorning every spare inch of wall space in this neighbourhood.

From his rate of breathing and the look in his eye, Hidan guessed something had happened. The crushing anger was back.

"Park your car. Meet me downstairs" Hidan muttered and retreated back into the darkness. He practically tripped down the stairs and through the bare living room, and into the bedroom he and Kakuzu shared. Taking up his place on his bed he waited for Zetsu's uncertain footsteps to echo through the house. Kakuzu didn't know about this little arrangement, neither did Tobi, but it held so many memories it would be almost a sin to stop for their sake. Hidan was Zetsu's unofficial anger therapist, though hardly a word was ever spoken during their time together. They weren't friends, but through all that happened, through all that was about to happen, they were not enemies either.

The grimy door swung inward and Zetsu appeared, still dripping wet from the weather outside. He stood, silhouetted against the tiny amount of light filtering in from the small window high in the ceiling.

"It's my car" he growled, clenching his fists and visibly shaking. "The cops saw me driving from the race...it's hot. They're onto me!"

Hidan's eyes opened wide, in that last sentence he'd picked up more aggression in Zetsu's voice than he'd heard in a long time. His heart beat rapidly, and he gripped the bedposts over his head with both hands, opening himself up to attack. For this was what he was here for.

The first fist struck just below his ribs on his left, the next hit him square in the stomach. He doubled up coughing, but was knocked back with an agonising blow to his kidneys. He arched his back, longing for it to stop yet aching for more. His heavy panting mirrored the other mans as a brief lull halted the attack.

"I'm sorry Hidan," Zetsu whispered with tears in his eyes as he landed blow after blow on his friend's unprotected body. Through the barrage of pain Hidan did nothing to protect himself, it was right that Zetsu took out his anger here, it was right that he lay here undefended. As another fist connected with his face, he felt the blood run hot and fast down his skin, mixing with tears that were not his own. Zetsu was hitting blindly now, his tears had consumed his vision and he was pummelling the body before him with every scrap of strength he had. Hidan resisted the urge to curl up, and when he slipped to the floor, bloody and broken, he took every one of the kicks to his ribs with nothing more than a half smile.

Every strike brought more pain, yet drew out the toxic anger from his friend. The steel toe capped boots tore into his sides, leaving bruises of every colour. Purples and blacks erupted along his sides under his thin shirt, though the fit of infuriation was far from over. With a grunt, Hidan was flipped onto his stomach and a boot came crashing down on his lower back. He howled in pain and twisted in spasms, but the grimace of hurt did not reach his eyes, instead they glowed with energy, with pleasure. Rough hands grabbed him by the back of his shirt and hauled him into the cracked wall, blood spurted afresh from his nose, and shoulder popped with a sickening crunch. Dislocated he shouldn't wonder. Even now, he did not command Zetsu to stop. He would stop when his temper was over, and until then it was not his place to complain, hinder or halt this barrage of blows.

He noticed the rage losing intensity, and with one last smack to the back of his neck, Zetsu let him collapse to the floor. His eyes were puffy and swollen, but through them he could see the unnatural tantrum had gone from his friends face. Both of them were struggling for breath, and not a word was said. Time seemed to stand almost still, even the air seemed to be sucked out as if in a vacuum as the pair watched each other.

"A little help?" rasped Hidan, indicating his broken shoulder, and shivered in apprehension as Zetsu all but glided across the grim room. Afterwards, they always helped each other clear up. It would not do for the others to find out. Tobi would not work with Zetsu of he knew of his problem, and people would think differently of Hidan if they knew how he helped him.

"You know what to do..." he continued and Zetsu nodded. The green haired man gripped his friends pale arm and waited.

"On a count of three, one...two...three"

Zetsu pushed up and back, and with a stomach churning pop, the bone was reunited with the socket. Hidan closed his eyes and screamed in brutal agony, pain flooded through his body and he shook again. Zetsu smiled in appreciation as his friend came hard in his pants.

"F...fuck" he stuttered, then blacked out.

When he awoke, Zetsu and his car were gone. It was just him, throbbing with pain and sitting alone inside the dingy room.

9 0 clock came around too fast. By this time he would have expected the crowds to be building...but not here. Here it was too risky, only the experienced drivers and the adrenaline junkies would be watching this race. He swung his legs over the side of the concrete wall and dangled them over the drop. It was a heart stopping view. In amongst the glaring neon lights of Uzumaki District he was surrounded by noise, up here the temperature was cool. So much so that his girlfriend had stayed in the car. Nobody had showed yet, but from his vantage point high on the multi-storey car park he could see approaching cars. From the look of it, Sasori was coming in from the right and Kisame was driving down the centre lane of Tsunade parkway. Itachi's new Mitsubishi evo could be seen dipping and weaving through traffic further out, and from the sound of it a new car had pulled up behind.

Pein jumped down from the wall and viewed the spectacular feat of engineering before him. Sleek new bumpers and a killer paint job re-vamped the old Kitano Touge. It was a beautifully mature shade of purple. The engine had obviously been tweaked to include a turbo, and fresh tyres gleamed under the wheel arches. Plus it was as cool as the polar ice caps. The police hadn't even seen this baby yet!

Kakuzu stepped proudly from the passenger seat and swept a scarred hand over the roof.

"Sweet isn't she?" he said and Pein nodded silently. It would be practically a sin to watch Hidan destroy this beauty. Konan got quietly out of their car – another in his vast collection. This time it was a subtlety orange old Mustang gt 500. Secretly it was Pein's favourite car, though Konan despised the colour he chose. It matched perfectly with his hair – what was wrong with that?

They were spared her opinion of Itachi's old ride when another shining sports car rolled up. It was Tobi and Zetsu. For this race they'd chosen a better car for blending in...Not. Zetsu and Tobi couldn't blend in if their lives depended on it – which in this race they might! Tobi sat at the wheel of a pearlescent Plymouth Hemi Cuda. It was a muscle car – completely the wrong make for this type of race, but then again these two didn't drive the race – they filmed it. It shone a hundred different colours and Konan gaped at in awe.

"It's soooo pretty!" she squealed in a girlish voice and Pein glared at Zetsu. He'd taken his girlfriends attention. Before a fight broke out, all heads turned to watch the simultaneous arrival of Kisame, Sasori, and a car full of ravers. They parked up, choosing to stick with their trusty original cars rather than risk tuning a new one just for one night. Kisame stayed inside his car, not wishing to come face to face with that one person he hadn't been able to get out of his head the past day and night. He was nervous, not only of the race, but what he panned to do later. Would he live to regret it?

It was a tense night; everyone was feeling the strain and the wagers on this race were high. Kakuzu was collecting bets for tens of thousands while exotically painted people carriers brought yet more revellers to the scene. At 5 minutes to 11, Itachi rolled in fashionably late and took his position behind the pink spray painted start line. The sun had gone down hours before, though nobody had time to notice. Lights shone on cold concrete, yet this time the group was devoid of music, not all the cameras watching them were Zetsu and Tobi's. Some belonged to the police, who could be watching at any time. Hidan took a deep breath and clutched at the wheel, slowly moving forward onto the line. His purple eyes showed some degree of fear and his breath came short and sharp. He hadn't left the car since they'd arrived. Not wishing to socialize or let anyone see the state of his face. He had a black eye and a split lip, but was determined to race. This time he would not crash, he was sure of it.

He glanced to his left and saw Pein's car, to his right stood Itachi's, Sasori's and Kisame's. All were looking stressed and tense, a lot depended on them staying cool, and more importantly their cars staying cool. Pein stood at the front, and dictated the route. They were to make it out of the carpark, down onto the road and through the busy shopping district. Two laps of central Konoha then make it out the other side to another abandoned multi storey where Zetsu would be waiting with Tobi to film the finish. Money and cars would change hands then they should get the fuck out of there.

He got in his car. Hidan said a silent prayer. Kisame's heart raced as he looked out of the window hopefully _he_ would be at the finish line. Itachi nodded arrogantly and Sasori gripped the wheel with both hands. Konan took her place at the front of the line of racers and posed, one arm in the air. She raised her other arm. She screamed "GO" and brought both arms down together.

They went. The race had begun.

First off the line was Itachi with his superior acceleration. The concrete building thrummed with the roaring of engines and the cheers of the crowd. The floor shook as the cars reached the level below. Brightly dressed fans rushed screaming into the lifts to watch the progress down the levels. Trainers squeaked on the stairs but the speed of the tuner cars was incredible. No sooner had the lift doors opened, the cars had drifted another floor down. Sasori battled for first place, while Pein was stuck at the back of the line. Choking fumes filled the confined space, but in no less than a minute Sasori's dodge charger burst out into the glare and fast paced driving of the freeway.

Quickly he changed up through the gears determined not to lose the lead to the weasel-man. Behind him, Hidan was cutting up the inside, earning infuriated blasts of horns and hand signs. They drifted round a wide corner as if in slow motion, then cranked up the speed to 170 KMH into the straight. Shops and arcades whipped past outside at an alarming rate, at this speed you'd hit something before you even realised to avoid it. A flash of purple on his right had him confused for a minute. That couldn't be...Hidan? He was driving like never before, controlled and damn fast. Sasori ignited the Nos and the two shot off into the neon glare.

Kisame watched metal fences whip past in a blur. He was pushing 180, yet could not keep up with the red and purple dots in the distance. He drew level with Itachi and flipped him off – grinning. Itachi accepted the challenge and they double drifted round the last corner before entering the crowded central shopping lane. Driving here was so much more difficult, there were pedestrians crossing the streets in their thousands, and so many traffic lights. To show his superiority over such law-abiding manners Itachi ran a red light – backwards. He went nose to nose with Kisame's Honda NSX before spinning a 180 right in front of a camera. Zetsu would appreciate that! Kisame turned up the volume on his stereo and old metal music boomed in his ears, almost blocking out the noise of his engine.

The five racers tore up the city. The first lap passed in a whirlwind of fumes, screams and smoking tyres. The nos was running low and from the beginning of the 2nd lap it got down to dirty driving skills. Hidan was surprisingly keeping 2nd place, with Sasori only just ahead of him, behind them Pein followed at a dangerous pace, doing anything and everything to overtake. In the two last places, Itachi and Kisame tricked off. They didn't care for the race, both were only interested in bettering each other at flashy driving. Kisame was driving with his feet – head out of the sunroof, while Itachi followed him in reverse. They had everyone's attention and as they sped round the corner they were the first to witness the near impossible crash ahead of them. An orange car, spinning at an angle through the air, neons aglow with fire. It seemed to happen in slow motion, and the sound seemed only to reach them after a long time. Pein's car flipped onto the other carriageway and landed on it side. The deafening sound of crunching metal reverberated through the night, accompanied by the squealing of tires and the smash of glass as all the windows blew out. A great gouge was torn out of the road as the wrecked chasse swept across it and into the barrier at the far side. There was nothing they could do, and as they watched a small figure rolled out. An instant later, the whole thing exploded. Orange flames leapt sky high and set the terrible scene aglow. Glass glinted evilly from the road side, illuminating what looked like blood around the drivers door.

Itachi put the car into gear and sped off, intending to get the hell out before the cops arrived. Kisame however pulled over and ran into the midst of the chaos. The flames heat reached his face even at a distance, and with a twinge of horror he realized that the fuel tank would ignite at any second. His heart beat double time, was this how worried Kakuzu felt about Hidan...all the time? How did he do it?

Stooping to pick up Pein who had fallen unconscious, he felt the flames caress his face and knew the fire had spread. He had to get back to his car-now. Hurling his friend into the backseats he jumped into the drivers seat and sped away. One glance in his rear-view mirror told him all he needed to know –he'd only just made it in time. Metal shards flew everywhere as the petrol tank exploded. Pein sighed and rolled over, Kisame had just saved his life. Panting in shock, Kisame drove them to the finish line. This race was sure as hell over now.

(Yes I'm English, we spell it "grey")


	4. Chapter 4

Icy midnight wind blew the exhausts fumes from the rooftops, and the cars engines were the only warm part of the night. Heat hazes shimmered above every one of them adding an edge of surrealism to the scene playing out many metres above the city.

"Kisame where the _fuck_ have you been?" Hidan yelled across the stark concrete, "you totally missed the best part of my _whole life_!"

"No shit, Hidan" Zetsu continued with a look of smugness – his friend had totally forgotten about his beaten and bloody appearance and had started posing on his car for all the world to see. "Not only did you finish the race, your car is one piece and you _totally_ owned Itachi..."

Itachi glared darkly from his car. Well, as darkly as it is possible to glare from a brand spanking new florescent white car. He wasn't taking part in the spirit of the evening and after exchanging a few words he took off into the night. Nobody noticed his departure, he was merely a black cloud hindering their ability to celebrate. For celebrate they must, Hidan hadn't just finished the race. He'd won.

"I fucking rule!" he screamed as Kakuzu jumped down from the jeep he'd hitched a lift in. Kakuzu just smiled and flashed a handful of the money he'd earnt that night.

"Have fun with that" he nodded at the herd of skimpily dressed girls advancing on his friend, "I'll catch you later!" he added then disappeared.

"Kakuzu! Wait! You know I don't-" his sentence was cut off as he tried to fend off a particularly strong bimbo. "Kakuzu! Help!"

But it was too late, his friend had gone inside the car park away from the weather to count his precious money. The celebrations were in full swing on the rooftop, regardless of the police risk and Pein was giving everyone beer from the back of a truck. Even a faint beat of drum n bass could be heard throbbing through the very air itself. Given all of this it was a surprise to see one figure detach himself from the group and steal away into the dark interior. Although given his current state, it was hardly a surprise at all.

One pair of footsteps echoed around the damp concrete prison that was the inside of the car park, Kisame followed them further and further in, wondering where his quarry was headed. He was sure to keep to the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment. Moonlight shone in through a glassless window and illuminated Kakuzu's dark dreadlocks swinging gently, Kisame's heart beat double time. He had to catch up. Now! He kicked of his heavy doc martens to move more stealthily on bare feet, creeping up behind Kakuzu he held both hands a millimetre from the other mans wide back. Just one push, that's all it would take. Just one push and he'd be down, leaving Kisame to crawl on top...and then...and then...

"Evening, Kisame" Kakuzu's gruff voice startled the blue haired man so much he stopped in his tracks.

"...?" he began, shocked at his rapid discovery

"What are you doing down here?" he asked in mock confusion. He began to turn around but before he'd even made it, Kisame's large hands were on his shoulders, overbalancing him and knocking him not onto the floor but into a great stone pillar. He opened his mouth to talk, but a hand was clamped across his lips.

"Shut up!" Kisame grunted, and the second his hand was removed he brought their lips firmly together. The crush of the other body against his felt so good, so tempting. His tongue swept Kakuzu's lips and he noticed with shock that he wasn't pulling away. He was merely standing there, casually, as if he wasn't overpowered - just simply enjoying the sensation. The night and the atmosphere had Kisame's hormones raging, the press of flesh made his skin burn and under Kakuzu's thin shirt he could feel a heart beating fast with lust.

He pulled away for a second, to draw breath and examine the look in Kakuzu's dark eyes. It was unreadable, confusing and suddenly Kisame wondered if he'd made a terrible mistake.

"I think you should go back to the party" Kakuzu muttered his voice low and teasing. He pushed Kisame back almost playfully, yet there was an edge of danger to his tone. Hands caught him around his hips and pulled him into a body that was both strong and powerful,

"I want you" Kisame whispered into the other man's ear, before pulling him into a possessive kiss that left him breathless. The taller man's scent had him ensnared, sweeter than sex and more addictive than any drug in the world. "Kakuzu...I need you..." he all but whined

Their lips brushed, blowing hot air over the skin, Kisame's eyes fluttered closed and his grip tightened on the body he was pressing into the wall. Stealthily his tongue worked its way around the barrier of Kakuzu's hard lips, plunging into warmth within. In an instant he was shoved not unkindly but firmly backwards.

"No" Kakuzu said flatly shaking his head only once then making to leave.

"Why?" Kisame spat, "I want you, let me take you right here, right now! On the floor like animals!"

Kakuzu's expression never changed, his mind was made up, though he wouldn't pass up the chance to have sex, even if it _was_ on the ground. It was just...Kisame wasn't the right man.

"Kisame, I'm in love with someone else. We can't do this, besides dominance is _my_ role." He spoke solemnly, and the blue haired man made no attempt to follow him. There was only room in his heart for one, and that one was Hidan.

When he made it back to the roof, and the fresh night breeze, it was to find that everyone had left. Thank god his ride was still there, parked neatly near the wall. A topless figure lay sprawled on the roof of his car with a hand dangling down past the windows – Hidan.

"Talk of the devil" Kakuzu muttered to himself and offered a silent prayer 'please don't let the annoying bastard be drunk'. As he got closer he saw a faint trail of smoke heading skyward, was the idiot smoking?

"Hidan! Get down offa my roof" he joked, and the platinum haired man turned his head to face him.

"You took your time" he jibed, and his eyes rolled back up towards the stars. He raised the fag to his lips and took a long drag before releasing the smoke into the night. He sighed, "life is good..."

"Since when did you smoke?" Kakuzu asked, baffled and prodded at the army of empty cigarette boxes littering the ground around his car. "Where did you get these from? You better not have spent my money!"

"Nah, Dei-chan's newest client works for some fag making corporation – he got em free but he don't like em. Thought I'd give it a whirl..."

"How many have you...?"

"bah..." Hidan waved a lazy hand and scrutinized the glowing embers on the burning end. Kakuzu sensed what was coming and his fists clenched, damn him if he was going to get turned on here, in this desolate shit hole.

True to his prediction, Hidan spun the cigarette around and pushed the burning end into his chest, letting out a low moan. God damn masochist! Kakuzu pulled him from the roof and shoved him into the car. With a glare that said he enjoyed that a lot more than he let on, Kakuzu hit the car into gear and sped off. He was going to get what he wanted tonight...

The pillows on the bed smelled sweet, an almost cloying aroma left over from when Konan loaded them down with house furniture and lavender bags. Hidan pushed back into them, eyes staring down to the end of his single bed, where Kakuzu was waiting. He lifted his eyes and met the other man's, their gazes locked and Hidan wondered for the first time what surprises tonight would hold.

The springs of the old bed crunched as Kakuzu knelt on the covers, slowly crawling up to where his partner lay. Could they be considered partners? He wondered- they'd only been together once yet the atmosphere in here was skyrocketing towards the sexual. He blinked and caught a flicker of a smile passing across Hidan's lips, he drew closer, towering above the submissive one laying beneath him. Hidan inclined his head, as if to invite Kakuzu closer. His eyes closed delicately when Kakuzu straddled his hips, thighs either side of him spread wide.

"Hell Kakuzu, don't move or I'm done for..." he groaned. It was a devastatingly intimate position, though one which he felt would be a hundred times better without the obvious obstructions. Removing his hands from Hidan's shoulders he quickly undid his jeans, and then his own, slipping the fabric over the side of the bed to lay forgotten on the floor. Before he knew what had hit him, Hidan's mouth was claimed. Hot breath blew across his lips raising goose bumps over his skin, the kiss was deep, invigorating. Kakuzu cupped his chin bringing him closer still and chuckled. It was throaty sound, deep and rumbling and Hidan ached for more, from beneath he took hold of Kakuzu's hands and placed them on his body. He wanted more touch, more intimacy. The next kiss brought a helpless sound of pleasure from his throat, and then Kakuzu's mouth was at his ear...whispering sweet nothings as his hand dipped lower.

Kakuzu shifted temporarily on Hidan's body, creating friction right where it mattered. He gasped in surprise and when his eyes opened blearily it was to find that his partner's underwear had miraculously 'disappeared'. He sucked in a breath, his nose full of the scents of mint...and man. Driven in a panic of desire and want he reached forwards, desperate to grip and feel and take. Kakuzu's erection looked positively painful, all veins and hard, hard flesh, yet simply looking did nothing to contain his demands. He wanted two-hand-touch, he wanted action.

Kakuzu sighed as Hidan's fingers found their target, it had been too long, he stiffened in his lover's hands, and squirmed with pleasure. Beneath him Hidan was battling with his own arousal, he envied Kakuzu's loose boxers and cursed the constricted shorts he was stuck in. He was pushing up against them, the light blue fabric was bulging temptingly and he screwed up his eyes against the pressure. He was eager to be free

"Kakuzu! I- aghh" he grunted as his lover gave a slight thrust and the detestable pants became that much tighter,

"Should have worn something a little more suitable shouldn't you?" he drawled slyly, itching to touch but wanting to string out Hidan's suffering just that bit longer. Knocking Hidan's hot fingers away from him, he gripped himself and began to stroke lovingly up and down. Stuck underneath his partner and unable to satisfy him or himself, Hidan was going spare. He wriggled but that only brought more tantalising chafing. His fists clenched and he bit his lip to stop from screaming, Kakuzu was moaning and his hips were moving. With one hurried buck into his hands he came all over Hidan's stomach whose eyes went wide in shock. His smaller body shock as the waves of his own climax hit him hard. Kakuzu smiled when a guilty dark patch appeared in the shorts they both hated so much.

"I...I'm sorry" Hidan apologised unnecessarily, and his chest heaved as he fought to regain his breath. His lover leaned down over him, fingers sliding in the mess on his chest, to speak one last thing into his ear...

"make love to me..." he whispered almost desperately, and nibbled at the earlobe. Hidan was suddenly baffled, confused even.

"K - Kakuzu we're both _men,_ we can't m-make love?" he stammered and looked up to his eyes. What was he talking about? How could two men make love to each other? It was an impossibility. Kakuzu then smiled his kindest smile, it even reached his eyes, he winked wickedly and dropped his voice lower, "we do it...like this"

In one swift motion he took Hidan by the shoulders and swung him around. Now Kakuzu lay amongst the pillows and blankets, legs apart and with a wicked grin on his face. He radiated heat and power and was feeling extremely selfish. He leaned forwards and snatched Hidan's hand, bringing it to his lips and sucking on two digits. Before Hidan had time to argue he'd taken the hand down- nearly crushing it in his haste – and let it hover at his entrance.

"This is how we make love, Hidan. Don't be afraid" he saw the hint of fear glimmering in those purple eyes and wished for it to go away. Still those pale fingers hovered, not moving away yet not accomplishing anything beyond frustration. Suddenly Hidan's muscles tensed, ready at last, and he slowly pushed inside. Kakuzu groaned deeply and made a strangled sound as Hidan got into his stride and explored him more fully. He whimpered with both pain and satisfaction, but such simple acts had him aching for a release they could not give,

"Hidan...oh God please" he whined throwing his head back, "I want _you_...inside..." He bucked his hips as if to emphasize the point, but Hidan was a complete newbie.

"I don't know what – there's not enough room – it's not going to fit!" he stammered in fright and removed his glistening fingers.

"Trust me, it _will_ fit" Kakuzu comforted him, "It might be uncomfortable at first but whatever you do don't stop."

Putting complete faith in his friend for the first time ever, he shifted his hips forwards and put Kakuzu's legs either side of him. His throbbing member found the important spot, brushing but not yet penetrating. He looked over his lover, panting and desperate beneath him, the sight worked its magic in his heart and sent butterflies rushing through his stomach – and lower. With a yell he thrusted inside for the first time ever.

"FUCK!" he screamed as he forced all the way in, amazed at how good it felt, amazed at how anything could feel this good without hurting. And yet it was hurting Kakuzu, he could tell by the look on his face. He was gritting his teeth, not enjoying their sex but almost weeping for the release it brought. Hidan began to move harder, faster and deeper, yelping with every thrust and savouring the expressions passing across his lover's face. There was pain there certainly but also satisfaction, then an overwhelming presence of pleasure pushed all other emotions aside.

Hidan leaned over his body with matted hair and glistening skin, a brief lull in the onslaught of lovemaking brought Kakuzu back to earth with a shudder.

"Why have you stopped?" he choked, "carry on! Carry on now!"

Hidan twisted inside and his teeth found Kakuzu's neck, teasing him back into ecstasy, before resuming the relentless pounding. He had lost all control, it was now just a race to the finish. Passion and madness and heat came together into the perfect moment and they both fell screaming over the edge as the waves of climax smacked them.

Laying together on the crumpled sheets they panted for breath, entwined and blissful as they'd never been before. Gradually the night cooled and sleep found them. Curled together flesh on flesh they slept the deep sleep of the truly satisfied. Come morning they awoke in each others arms, just as lovers should.

Late in the day, Kisame, Sasori and Tobi were hanging out at Sasori's garage drinking beer and listening to loud music. Tobi had brought the CD, so hip hop music blared out deafening anyone nearby. The three sat just outside the massive corrugated metal doors on old overstuffed armchairs and were soaking up the sun. Inside the heat was less intense, and the shadows seemed deep compared to the brilliant glare out on the forecourt.

Kakuzu padded softly through the cool interior with no shoes on his feet. He was choosing a new NOS canister for one of his vast collection of cars but couldn't make up his mind without Hidan here. Plus he couldn't very well carry one, after last night he'd developed a kind of...limp. All around him equipment was dumped or discarded. Oil tanks and dismantled gear boxed littered the floor under an old Cadillac, and to his left a pile of tires leaned precariously over a box of brand new racing ECUs. High on the walls a selection of butterfly exhausts gleamed in the afternoon light and beneath them was a great wooden workbench covered in black grease and split differentials. Everything a car could ever want was right here, including a cabinet containing super chargers and turbos. How could he ever make up his mind?

Throwing his hands up in surrender he made his way into the sunlight and grabbed a beer.

"Heard about you and Hidan last night" said Sasori in a low voice and Kakuzu jumped in surprise, spilling warm beer down his shirt,

"What the fuck? How do you know?" he blurted out, nearly slipping off the arm of the battered armchair he was perched on.

"Meh, I know people..." Sasori continued, "It was fucking harsh making him be seme on his first time, man"

"Yeah...I guess" Kakuzu's voice trailed off as he remembered the perfection, the energy... Hidan had claimed him, he knew. There could be no other, and if that was his first time...he could get _so much better._

Kakuzu returned from his fantasy just as another car pulled up. He perched on the arm of Tobi's chair and waited for the driver to get out, eager to see who could afford a car like this.

It was a brand new Lotus Elise painted a vibrant red with delicate silver stars decorating the bonnet and trailing across the roof, the door opened and Pein got out wincing slightly.

"New ride?" Sasori asked – interested already

"yeah. Would have been great but Konan chose the paint job. Honestly." He muttered unhappily

"So how are you doing after the accident?" Kisame asked, worried for him after seeing how close he'd come to meeting death face to face.

"I'm cool. Listen, do you guys wanna come round for a BBQ today? Konan's got this new thing about cooking and..." he let the invitation hang.

"Sure. Free food!" Tobi exclaimed delightedly and immediately called Zetsu,

"yeah why not, I'm starved anyway" agreed Sasori, "can Dei-chan come?"

"Everyone's invited, you gotta help me eat up all this damn food; she's gone NUTS!" Pein laughed and jumped back into his car, he rolled back onto the road and revved the engine up, earning appreciative nods. "Anyone want a lift?" he asked

"Yeah, stop off at my place." Kakuzu strode forwards and hoped in the passenger seat, Sasori wolf whistled him goodbye,

"Later, uke" he catcalled and grinned widely,

_En route to the basement flat_

"Uke?" asked Pein tentatively as they swung round a corner into the run down estate where Kakuzu lived with Hidan, the engine slowed to a drone as he pointed out the grim concrete building the council had the audacity to call a block of flats.

"Oh for gods sake!" he whined, "Does everybody _have_ to know?" he slammed the door open angrily, but the smile on his lips hadn't died. He liked it that everyone knew, they were his friends, they'd understand.

The narrow red door opened with a creak and Hidan stood in the doorway wearing little. As he watched another fleck of paint fell of the door and the place became that much more ragged.

"Kuzu!" Hidan chirped gleefully and Kakuzu winced at the nickname, "glad you're home..." his voice dropped an octave and he stepped further back into the darkness seductively, "maybe we could..."

In the background Pein bibed the horn impatiently, "come on girls, do it at my place if you must!"

Hidan's eyes lit up and Kakuzu smirked.

"So be it..."

Hi hope you enjoyed this marvelous chapter. I think I'll update in 5 reviews time, yes. If you truly want another chapter, you'll have to review me on it. So there! haha

luvsXXX


	5. Chapter 5

_Yo peeps! Been a while since I last updated and thanks to some kind people I got REVIEWS. Yeah. So here's the last chapter, it is the very last one. The ultimate one, it's sad to finish this fic its been amazing..._

The ramshackle bungalow had a garden overrun with weeds and vines climbed all over the roof. Pein and Konan lived together on the very edge of town, and had a lot of land and money. In the back garden a swimming pool glittered temptingly in the late afternoon sunshine. The grass grew tall and dry, and faint whispering could be heard when the summer breeze drifted through.

A grand oak tree spread its branches high over the overgrown garden, offering a little escape from the heat, it remained alone at the bottom of the field providing the perfect retreat for lovers.

The rowdy crowd gathered on the patio outside the house where the barbecue was spewing heavy smoke into the atmosphere, Pein had horded some beer from some poor motherfucker who was probably wondering what had hit him, and was generously handing it out. A lopsided bench slumped on the uneven ground amongst wild grasses and on it Hidan was laid out topless in the sun.

"God, this is allright" he laughed and got Tobi to go light another fag for him. Kakuzu just stared disapprovingly from under the sun umbrella.

"You're going to die young" he muttered and glanced at the empty bottles rolling about on the floor,

"I'm not going to die at all! Ever!" Hidan cried cheerfully and took a great lungful of smoke from the evil little stick pressed to his lips. Kakuzu was about to make another smart ass reply which would have sent the two roommates into another argument, but he was interrupted by a scream from the barbeque

"Pein! Heeelp it's on fire!" Konan was screaming and panicking, her pretty blue apron was on fire and all the charred burgers were burning too.

"Tobi is scared!" the idiot yelled and knocked over the drinks table as he fled the scene, he got tangled in a stray pot plant and slipped on the slimy marble on the poolside. With a gasp he slipped over the edge and splashed into the freezing water.

"get some water!" Kisame shouted, "put out the fire"

"Stop cooking, Konan!" screamed Pein as bucketfuls of water were thrown over her – ruining her hair and making her white shirt go horribly see through. She was lucky though, at least 5 of the guys around her weren't really _into_ girls anyway.

"Dei-chan help me outta here, I can't swim" pleaded Tobi, though a devilish grin played in his eyes. As soon as Deidara's hand appeared offering to help him up, he grabbed it and pulled the blonde man into the water. His screams mixed with Tobi's laughs and the hiss of the fire being put out. Sasori just sat and watched the whole scene play out from behind the last bottle of cider.

"Oh god..." the redhead muttered in horror – the drinks were all smashed, there was _no more alcohol. _What in the hell was he going to do? He stood up unsteadily and clenched his little fists and screamed to anyone that was listening,

"THE BEER IS GONE!!"

Everyone stopped dead, not a sound could be heard. Kisame and Itachi looked like they'd been slapped, Deidara and Tobi stopped fighting in the icy pool, and Konan fell silent - safe between Pein's arms. Pein grinned, "there's more in the house, someone go get it"

"I'll go!" Kakuzu volunteered and got up from the deckchair he was lounging in. "Hidan come on!"

The albino man gave him a calculating glance, what was he playing at? Surely it did not take two people to carry a crate of drinks, and he was sure this was not the way to the garage. They passed through Konan's neat little kitchen – all yellow and decorated with daisies, then a pretty door opened onto a hall.

"Kakuzu, this-" he began, but his words were lost as the taller man forced him against the wall with a thud. A picture frame crashed to the floor and his lips were viciously pinched by sharp teeth almost drawing blood. A light moan escaped his lips and he tried to wriggle free – this was not the right place!

"Bedroom?" he suggested and slowly the pressure against him decreased. Kakuzu stepped back,

"If we can find it" he murmured. Hidan gave him a shove and took the lead, searching the upstairs for the bedroom he suspected Pein and Konan must share. Pushing open door after door he could sense Kakuzu getting bored. A low growl escaped his lips and Hidan could practically feel the heat coming off him. Then aha, the smallest door opened onto the largest room in the house. The curtains were drawn –casting a reddish glow over the whole scene. To their right a double bed with thick red covers dominated the space. Hidan poked his nose in cautiously...

The room smelled nice – of flowers and cinnamon, he took a moment to calm the arousal threatening to take control of his system, and took a deep breath. The sensation of being in someone else house – in the most intimate room of that house was unsettling.

Kakuzu growled and gave him a rough shove – impatient already and the smaller man fell forwards into the room. He had a brief glimpse of a grand fireplace and a majestic hanging mirror, dried roses and embroidered curtains before Kakuzu was on him once more. His pale head was pushed into the other mans neck and he felt hands creep up his sun warmed back. The embrace was only temporary, however, and soon he felt his jeans being pulled from him. The warm afternoon air felt nice on his bare skin and he leaned further into Kakuzu desperate for him to feel what he could feel. His hands roamed, pulling off whatever clothing they found, whilst his eyes never opened.

His eyelids were squeezed shut, anxious not to hang about and greedily tasting every part of Kakuzu his open mouth could find, his hands were roaming and his heart was racing. He felt a hot body press tightly against him, pushing him, pushing him into dressing table. He moaned as he felt Kakuzu's hardness rub against his thigh, and knew he too was drawing close.

"Kuzu...what??" he muttered, suddenly confused when two strong hands gripped him just below his ass. He stared unblinkingly into his eyes, then was hoisted up into the air.

"Kuzu what the fuck? Put me down!" he wriggled but was held firm, held close against Kakuzu's chest, one leg either side and his head resting lightly on his shoulder. The position was nice, he mused until he felt something brush against him, softly at first, then harder – more demanding. He arched his back, aching for it. He opened his mouth and _begged_, the sound less of an invitation and more of an order.

"get inside" Hidan growled through gritted teeth, his anger lust and desire boiling over. His length was pressed uncomfortably against Kakuzu's strong chest, his skin was burning with sweat, his nails were digging in deep enough to draw flecks of blood...and suddenly it didn't matter any longer...

He gasped and moaned in sudden pain as he was brutally entered from below, something was filling him, stretching him. His legs clamped tighter around the body in front of him and he bit down on another strong scream,

"kuzu...it's-that's...so f-fucking good."

Hands gripped his hips and moved him and then his back was on the wall, suspended high above the floor and still shaking. Wallpaper tore of in strips as he was slammed mercilessly against it, back cracking every time and forcing him lower...forcing Kakuzu deeper. The furniture rocked, the floor creaked ominously and Hidan was sure the windows rattled in their frames. Precious china cats tumbled off the shelves and smashed to the floor but the couple paid them no heed.

"Heaven help me!" Kakuzu breathed softly to his lover

He grunted in exhaustion but Hidan could still feel him within, still feel the delicious hardness pushing against his insides. It wasn't over yet. With a heave they shifted from the wall and Hidan's back fell against a soft bed spread. A brief lull allowed him to stare up through messy hair and blurry eyes to the one above him, the one about whom his legs were still wrapped. It was like a dream, he felt Kakuzu's power in the way he moved, the way he touched his body. It felt like home, safe in his arms.

"I'm not done with you yet" he growled pushing Hidan's arms across the bed, above his head. "Smoking and the like, you've been a very bad boy"

Hidan sniggered boyishly in response and groaned afresh when Kakuzu gave a slight twitch,

"Fucking faster Kuzu!" he cried out

"Why are you such a _very_ _naughty _boy?" he continued, voice low and verging on dangerous. When Hidan's only response was a lust filled grimace he bared his teeth and surged forwards. He entered fully and without preparation, ploughing his way into the smaller man with speed and wrath.

"Sweet Jashin, Kakuzu!" he choked as he took every painful thrust, growing every closer to his climax. The bed rocked and dust rose from the floorboards. Hidan was howling in agony and bliss, his hands gripping uselessly at the ruined covers once more...

Downstairs the almost ordinary atmosphere was beginning to rankle.

"Sempai, I'm boooored!" Tobi drawled and kicked an empty can into the pool. He felt sick from eating burnt food and the smoke had stung his eyes. Nobody would let him drink being as he was underage and his cell phone was lying underwater – completely broken. He'd been into the house to try and find a tv but had heard weird noises coming from upstairs.

Going outside to speak seriously to Pein, the older man had only nodded and explained quietly that it was 'a Brokeback mountain situation'. Konan just winked. Tobi was confused.

"Zetsu..."he began, sidling up to his best friend, "what's Brokeback Mountain?"

"Erm...it's that film I never let you watch, remember because you'd get **Ideas**" Zetsu said uncomfortably. He looked at Tobi out of the corner of his eye, the young boy kept glancing up at the house suspiciously and images began to form in Zetsu's warped mind.

"Kakuzu and Hidan?...No" he whispered quietly and Tobi nodded, his face solemn

"That's what he says" he muttered jabbing a thumb at Pein who was busy stabbing the barbeque,

"Ah jeez, not them as well! First Deidara and Sasori, now this" Zetsu complained and sat down heavily. Actually come to mention it, he hadn't seen Deidara for a while now...

_Written from dei-chans pov. You know you love it._

"Bloody hell un!" I shouted as I clambered from the clutches of that damned pool. Or rather- polar bears ice box. I was shaking and cursing from head to foot and all they could do was laugh and poke fun at me. Pein just stood there with Konan practically on his _lap_, I mean _come on_! And Tobi was running rings round them all. Sasori was all moody now the beer's gone, so I went to get a nice comfy place under that tree. In the sun...lovely. The grass swished as I pushed through it, my wet shirt clung to me horribly so I peeled it off and flung it somewhere to rot. I tramped further into the virtual jungle that Pein called a backyard.

"He should spend less time driving and more time gardening" I spat and slouched down under the dark branches. At least out here I couldn't hear the ominous noises coming from the house. Kakuzu with Hidan eh? I smiled to myself, wishing Sasori had followed me out here after all.

I had bait to draw him out with. Under my arm I carried an expensive bottle of whisky I'd lifted from the cabinet inside the hall, that damn alcoholic would sniff it out soon enough and come running. All I had to do was wait...

A twig snapped nearby and I turned to see that horny redhead sneaking through the grass, he was already way past the pool and heading right towards me. He hadn't seen me and I quickly took the liberty of undoing my pants and baring myself to the afternoon sun. I was a bit of an exhibitionist at heart. Let him come now, I sniggered and leaned back against the prickly bark listening to his light footsteps carry him ever closer.

"Dei-chan?" he called out and I could hear the smile in his voice, I thought about replying but hide and seek was so much more fun. He heard the rustle of dead leaves anyway, as I spread my pale legs wide in anticipation of him. A shadow fell across my face and I looked up to see him standing tall above me

"Danna?" I called out readily and he stopped dead when he saw my state of undress. That and the little gift I was half-hiding behind my back

"What's that?" he snapped, and I smiled evilly,

"Depends," I bargained, "what will you trade me for it?" I shifted slightly so he could see the trademark gold label and the amber liquid stirring within. His eyes opened wide and he flexed his fingers.

"You will give it to me" he commanded, but again I denied him, knocking the bottle back into the shadows. All he could see was me, my golden skin and defined muscles, all he could smell was me, sitting there in front of him, ready for him. His eyes opened wide and the front of his pants showed a bulge that got me interested to say the least.

"What's it gonna be danna?" I probed him, aching now for his submission. My hands drifted behind my back, unscrewing the lid of the glass bottle slowly and carefully. It took less than a minute and the neck of it was at my lips, pouring its contents down my throat, burning and savouring. I hated the taste of the stuff, but his expression as I downed it without sharing was incredible.

For a minute he looked as though he would slap me, but suddenly his lips were on mine and his tongue was driving through into my mouth where vestiges of whisky still remained. He tasted me greedily but his hands never once swept my body, I realized then that the status quo had changed and I was no longer in control.

"Dei-chan, give it to me" he spoke into my mouth, lips pushing hard against mine and his hot breath tickled my throat. It was then I made my choice. With a hefty shove I pushed him off me, and before he had time to lean back, I'd upended the bottle over myself. Liquid more expensive yet the same colour as gold splashed over me and between my open legs. Sasori stood there open mouthed,

"better keep that open" I jibed, hoping he got the sexual jest.

The last drop of whisky tumbled out and I threw the empty bottle into the brush. I tossed my hair and smirked for I knew he had no choice over his actions now. True to my prediction he sank to his knees and leant towards me, I was glistening wet and the alcohol kind of stung me, but it was all worth it.

"Thought you wanted it?" I questioned him and hoped to wind him up, but he was way past that stage now. A low growl escaped his throat as he swung between his options.

Option 1 – slap me and leave me alone out here as punishment for wasting good booze.

Option2 – taste every delicious drop of that drink and taste every delicious drop of me in the process. Lick and kiss me long after the alcohol has gone.

He took option 2. Duh.

"Oh god...Sasori..!" I cried out in ecstasy, my hands clenching on the tufts of grass

"Sasori- danna" he corrected me and I smiled. Even with me in a position of dominace he still wished for me to call him 'master'

"Danna, do it...faster!" my heart skipped a beat as he continued to pleasure me intimately. His hands bruised my hips as he held me down, I was trembling and shaking now, just aching to lift my hips up and into him.

"Don't joke again" he growled disapprovingly, as he lifted his head to give me a baleful stare. His hands fell to carry on the work his mouth had left and my breath hitched as he began to massage me expertly. His hands felt warm on me, but not nearly as hot as the feverish temperature I longed for,

"Sasori-danna!" I yelled, sensing the end was near. His hand clenched on me roughly and I choked back another moan. My back arched against the tree as I tried to pull him closer into me, the air was turning cool and chilling the sheen of sweat on my skin. Hidan and Kakuzu were indoors, they were all right but out here we were exposed.

With a jerk I came into his expectant hands, I gave a growl of frustration, I had hoped he would drink me as I had him, but that fantasy stayed unfulfilled. My eyes darkened with displeasure and I cruelly kicked him off me, hastily doing up my crumpled pants and scrambling to my feet.

"Dei-chan! Stay," Sasori argued and tried to reason with me, but I was done. Suddenly I didn't feel as I had before. Sex outside could be left to the naturists. Fuck that.

I made my way grumpily back through the dry scrubland, the day not nearly as hot and beautiful as before. It's as if I'm seeing everything through glass. I approach the patio and tiredly slump past the abandoned and smoking barbecue, I trudge into the house ignoring Zetsu and Tobi chasing each other down the corridor – obviously drunk.

Equally I ignore Hidan as he almost falls down the stairs, his hair is fucked and his shirt is still missing. He would appear drunk except I cannot smell drink on him, he trips and stumbles and Kakuzu catches him around the middle. So perfect together. I carry on walking as the taller man heaves him back up the stairs, I don't even want to know what they're up to.

I turn left and walk slowly into the lounge, I can't remember if Itachi ever turned up, if he did I never saw him, but there's Kisame. Kisame sitting the wrong way on that sofa, looks like he's about to fall off. Whose hands are those? I wonder, there are a pair of hands around Kisame's waist now gaining access to his chest. I didn't see any girls about the place except Konan, and surely I just passed her in the kitchen. I turn around and check back. Yes, there she is washing up.

Then who...?

A few seconds pass as I look away, thinking, and a small smirk appears on my face. When I look back the hands have advanced, they are now sliding along exposed skin, roaming freely down... I hear Kisame gasp softly and wonder – what the hell kind of woman would have_ him_ sitting on her lap? I have a vague feeling that I shouldn't witness this, or should at least give the guy some privacy but my curiosity gets the better of me and I step sideways, crane my neck and peer into the room.

My jaw drops

To say I was in shock would be the understatement of the centaury, for there, nipping slightly on Kisame's neck and with his hands dipping down into the man's shorts...was Pein.

A snigger rises to his lips as he sees me there, stunned and framed in the doorway, "Dei-chan, you're blushing" he drawls, then brushes his lips slightly against Kisame's, making him moan for it. He pulls away for an instant to add, "I've never seen you blush, it's rather amusing..." before pulling Kisame into a harsh kiss.

The blue haired man shifts closer, his thighs spread wide either side of Pein and his stomach presses into him. Below him, Pein is leaning back ever so slightly, exposing himself. Their lips lock and their eyes squeeze shut, sitting like that they were... you could see...

I have to admit, even from my position it looked...good and I hade to turn away before jealous emotions threatened to come crashing over me like dark waves. As I turned I saw poor Konan, oblivious and ignorant of her unfaithful boyfriend's actions, dutifully doing the dishes. The kinder side of me ached to leave her happy, but I have to tell her, it's what a friend would do right?

I approach her carefully and silently, my bare feet making no noise on the tiles. I lay a tanned hand across her shoulders and she looks around at me confused. I don't know how to begin. I open my mouth and glance back at the door to the lounge which I left ajar. My eyes wander the kitchen then finally make their way back to her.

"I..." I stutter nervously and stare at my feet like a guilty child. I brought such bad news, how could I look her in the eye?

"It's ok, Deidara" she comforts me, "I already know"

For the second time that day, my jaw opens and shuts like a fish with no water. "Konan – he –in the lounge...and Kisame..." I waffle on and she pats me on the back kindly.

"We've talked about this, briefly maybe but we're cool" she says suddenly firm. I hug her anyway. Out of the back window I can see Sasori traipsing back, I decide enough is enough. Sex outside may be no fun, but sex indoors is something I'm craving for. Let him come.

Konan's P.O.V – something I've never attempted but am itching to try...

I watch as my back door is swung violently open and the short red head bounds through into Deidara's waiting arms. I grab a tea towel and turn away so they don't see the solitary tear fall from my dark eyes. I'm not crying through happiness and I'm not crying for my own loss. I'm crying because theses bastards are _totally wrecking my house._

"Hey Konan mind if I use the bathroom?" comes a shout from upstairs. And before I have time to say 'hell no', the door is slammed and I hear the water running. I am surrounded by burnt pots and pans and char grilled meat that probably used to be food. Mud, grass and dirty boot prints litter my floor and the smell of spilt beer is everywhere. Out on the patio my plants have been trodden on, squished into the ground. I don't even want to see the state of my lounge, and did I just hear 

someone in my room upstairs? I pull at my hair, frustrated and angry. It's ok for Pein to have his boyfriends over, but it's me forever cleaning up!

Suddenly an idea occurs to me, and I slip out of my apron and follow in Deidara's footsteps down the hall and through into the dimly lit lounge where our two couples are tangled together in the half light. I am only slightly ashamed, after all this work I deserve a bit of...yaoi!

I crouch down behind a potted plant and pull out my camera phone. To my left, my ex boyfriend Pein and his new boyfriend Kisame are stretched out on the sofa we were given from his mum. Their tongues were ravelling and Pein's hands were moving explicitly. The shirts they had been wearing before were gone, revealing muscular arms and slick skin, shining with sweat. Their bodies were pressed closely and as yet neither one was on top. With a muffled gasp I saw Kisame's hands sneaking into Pein's shorts, dragging them down, pulling them off.

I suppressed a girlish giggle as I snapped away like a Japanese tourist. How much of this would I allow myself to watch? Kisame's fingers moved around, poised and dangerous just above Pein's entrance. Thinking smugly to myself that I was the only one in the room to know exactly how he liked it, it was like a slap in the face when I heard that bastard groan. Softly at first, then louder and louder as the blue haired man's fingers explored him and touched him in ways I'd never imagined.

"Kisame I...urgh..." he tried to form words but nothing would come. I felt jealous and averted my eyes, this time to watch Dei-chan get it on.

I enjoyed the way these two acted around each other. They blew hot and cold, sometimes lovin so hard in front of us you'd beg them to get a room, other times arguing so bad you wouldn't even think them friends. But here, _in my lounge,_ they'd found a compromise. Sasori was utterly dominating, leaving no chances for Deidara to get the upper hand, or even draw breath from the long slow possessions that went by the name of kisses.

Deidara was whimpering and his eyelids were flickering, open and closed as Sasori searched for the ultimate position. His hands groped and felt every inch of the blonde he could reach,

"Unnn uuunn!" Deidara gave a throaty moan, and without warning bucked his hips violently into the redhead above him. This was proving to be more than fun. I scrutinized their movements, it wouldn't be long now before...

"Let's get these off..." Sasori growled and Deidara hissed as his pants were ripped off him. I grunted as he knocked over my little cat statues. The poor babies would be ruined! My sofas too if the grunts and moans from my left meant anything. Honestly. At least it wasn't my bedroom being ransacked...

"Hidan are you done yet?" Kakuzu wailed from the tarts boudoir that Konan called a bedroom. He'd been waiting what felt like hours surrounded by horrible ribbony, flowery abominations and reluctantly trying to clear up the mess. He'd used up all of Konan's perfume trying to cover up the smell of sex and sweat, but it was no use. The empty bottle lay guiltily where he had hidden it. At 

least there were no icky things to worry about, like hiding tubes of lube. They hadn't used it, they never had. Hidan liked the feel of the things they did, and how they did them.

"Fucking masochist" Kakuzu snuffled and booted the bathroom door again

"Hey when I'm done I'm done ok?" he called from the bubbles and bathwater, "I like having a bath after sex! And I heard that." He added with a smile Kakuzu couldn't see.

Any moment now he'd realize that the door wasn't locked.

Hidan rolled over in the pink bathwater. He had no idea where Konan got her bath stuff from but it was about as girly as happy fluffy bunnies smiling sweetly in sugar town. He loved it. Looking round the gleaming bathroom he noticed there was almost certainly room for one more, the bath was practically a hot tub. He stretched out, splashing and waiting, just itching for Kakuzu to come striding through that door.

"Ok, that's enough come out NOW!" the other man bellowed and hammered at the door. When no reply came he threw his weight against it and with a splintering crack the door fell off its hinges at a geometric rate. Hidan raised his eyebrows.

"room for you too" he said quietly and smiled widely when Kakuzu dropped his shorts for the second time.

"Get the fuck in here" he challenged him and Kakuzu met his gaze with one of passion. He slipped into the hot water and gracefully sat atop Hidan. A blush appeared on the silver haired mans face and he bit his lip, Kakuzu's warmth was reaching him though it was near impossible that either of them could remain unsatisfied after what they'd just done. Each was craving more.

Cold hands took hold of Hidan's throat tightly, and he choked back a moan of pleasure

"Oh god...tighter" he hissed and Kakuzu's hands clenched fiercely. He was leaning forwards over the naked body, feeling Hidan's arousal growing yet again. He kissed him, roughly, their lips sliding and clashing, their teeth knocking together. The water made the bath slippery and Kakuzu gripped Hidan's hips with his knees, it seemed to turn the other man on even more,

"auh harder" he whined, it was a split between a cry and a moan and soon Kakuzu was feeling the pressure. Bending low over his chest he whispered into Hidan's ear,

"I'm going to fuck your mouth...and you're going to like it" he licked his lips and clutched the back of Hidan's head, forcing him closer. His mouth opened eagerly to receive...

Time was ticking on and the light outside was completely extinguished. The moon had risen over the roofs of the neighbourhood and cold dew lay over grass outside. Someone had stuck on a movie and the 9 drunken idiots were sitting around watching it. The lounge floor was covered with bottles and 

fag ends...and someone's pants. The curtains were thankfully drawn but through the haze of heat and smoke not much could be seen anyhow.

The movie was just reaching the scary bit and the mood in the room was tense when the phone rang, startling everybody and making Tobi scream out loud.

"Ah hell you get it" everyone waved at everyone else and continued sitting, the phone rang a second time and the dutiful hostess ran to get it. There was a scream from the hall and Konan came running back into the room,

"It's Itachi" she wailed, "They've found Jeriah's body!"

"What that perv?" asked Deidara

"Always hated him" agreed Zetsu nodding

"Didn't we bump him off a few weeks ago?" said Pein, confused,

"I've never seen such handiwork with simply a crowbar" smile Sasori, recalling the incident

"Took ages to get the blood off the tires, too" complained Kakuzu

"motherfucker" said Hidan

"Yes," said Konan as if explaining events to a group of 3 year olds, "if they've found the body...they know it's us!"

Every face in the room turned white, then everything happened at once.

"No time to pack! Grab they keys let's go!"

"We meet Itachi at the airport!"

"Kuzu, where are my pants??"

Everything was thrown up in the air and Konan had difficulty making her voice heard,

"Guys! Itachi IS at the airport, he's booked us a flight, we need to leave pronto. It's goodbye to Konoha I'm afraid..."

"Don't care, though I think we should blow up this house" ...everyone stared at Deidara

"you've lost it you tard" muttered Tobi

"No, we fake our own deaths, cover the trail!" Deidara exclaimed and everybody saw the genius in the plan.

"I'll do it" said Pein standing up, the rest of you go, we'll meet at the airport.

"Terminal 3" Konan added helpfully, and with that they left in a rush of screeching tires, smoke and dust. Pein was left alone, saying goodbye to his old life. He left the gas running, and 10 minutes later threw a lighted match out of the window of his already speeding car. He hit 80 mph as the whole structure exploded.

"Fuck off, Konoha" he yelled, flailing a middle finger out if the sunroof. It was time to start afresh...

_fin_

Beer runs out (oh no)

Deidara goes to the tree to get warm from being in cold pool and Sasori meets him there with the last bottle of booze...

Pein konan bbq love


End file.
